I was walking Guinness the other day...oh, wait...no, I haven't done that in a while. Let me start over. I was letting Guinness out the other day when I realized something so profound, so real that everything else going on was leveled to a trivial plainness of existence. I realized that I am a pretty big deal around here. It was not a complex maze of thoughts that helped me come to this. Rather, it was my version of 'seeing Jesus in a grease stained napkin at McDonald's.' I saw my profile in a puddle of water in a pothole on the street in front of my house. It was unmistakable. You would agree it was the handsomest accumulation of snow melt and dirt ever to have torn up a road through cyclical thawing and freezing conditions. I knew it couldn't have stopped there so I raced back inside, then back out (I forgot about Guinness), and back inside to Google my name. Excitedly, I wanted to see what would pop up. After what seemed like hours of searching (really about 2.5 minutes), I regretfully gave up and decided to look for the nearest McDonald's on Google Maps. My id was yearning for a Big Mac and my ego was hoping for a grease-stained likeness. I hadn't realized that my name was still in the search bar upon pressing the link for Google Maps. The above image is what was produced.
